Post Mortem

My apologies for the sparse posting. That bill paying obligation has been at it again. Good stuff over at the Carnival, courtesy of Steve the Pirate.


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Falling Prices: An Insolutopia Story

Democrats are out on a full scale attack of the retail giant Wal-Mart.

The company has been beaten up, slapped around and bloodied in the European market.

If only we could vote them into office and destroy the evil forces behind the creation of Wal-Mart.

What a wonderful world it would be.


First and foremost, never mention God around a public servant.








Democrats get very upset about any metaphysical thought, which might pierce their dream of crystal clear, secular mental purity.












Well... you know what happens. Impure thoughts must be purged at all costs. Mentioning God is now hate speech, punishable by instant late term abortion.







Naturally, the police will need to clean up the mess.

"Boy this soap smells good. I used to be able to buy this stuff at Wal-Mart, until the liberals convinced everybody Wal-Mart was evil. The soap back at my apartment is this gruesome organic stuff imported from France. They mix chunks of seaweed and dishrags into it, then give it a fancy name and a fancy price. Yeah. Soap from France. Give me a break."








"Damn that Ted Kennedy immigration reform bill and the ensuing invasion. I can't even get to the door of my apartment without clamoring over these people."










"You know, the last time I saw books like this, was before the public school banned them. They said the struggle of reading was attenuating the self-esteem of the students. Wow. There are whole paragraphs here. There are whole pages without pictures. Sweet."




"You know, Zogby, I would not be struggling to fix your damn pocket watch with my nail file, if your buddies hadn't run Wal-Mart out of town. You could just go down and buy a new one."











"What good is a big wad of food stamps and a government food center, when they only give you a quarter kilo of dried cracker crap, in a cheap plastic bag! When the Wal-Mart super center was around, with this money, I could buy a thirty pound easy seal pail of Basmati rice, plus a whole fork pallet of Table Talk apple pies!"






"Come with us Lady. Lord Emperor Chuck Schumer want's to hear your grievance personally. Trust us, he feels your pain."









"All right everybody, we just ran out of the green cracker crap. Please don't kill the messenger. Ted Kennedy is the one that slapped on the price controls and drove your cracker supply into extinction. BTW, that cracker remark wasn't meant to be a racist comment."










Some liberals thought this green stuff was for recreational use. This guy's bong ran dry halfway through the line.

Never get between a state victim and his Medicaid prescription.






Thank some force other than God, that we didn't throw away all that Big Dig equipment. It sure comes in handy for excess illegal aliens and ungrateful malcontents. Don't worry. Vicente Fox will make more.








"All this bureaucratic ass kissing, has given me an enormous case of acid indigestion. It is time to cash in on some of that wonderful Hillary Care I have been paying for all these years."






"Welcome to the Terry Schiavo memorial Euphoria center Sir! Won't you come inside, so we can make you comfortable..."

"Gee Lady. This place is the most beautiful place I have ever seen in recent years."





"Wow, I never realized how wonderful the health clinic was; It has movies and everything! Is this what the world was like before Iran dropped that nuke, right after the Democrats cut and ran? Was it like this before Chinese and Russian polluters bribed both the U.N. and president Gore to look the other way? This is wonderful. This cherry kool-aide tastes pretty good too. Gosh I'm feeling sleepy...."








It's amazing what you can do with human bodies, when you strip away the American family, those pesky church services and those morose, brooding friends and mourners.








"Geez. I wonder how many bribes of FDA officials it took, to arrange this banquet. Nasty. I remember when Wal-Mart was around. There was more product variety than dust-covered boxes of decade old powdered milk and ten pound blocks of orange Agriculture department cheese. Oh yeah... Wal-Mart had delicious crisp golden brown animal crackers, instead of stale, crumbly green cannibal crackers."



"Zogby, in spite of my NRA membership, DNC thugs managed to take my weapon and beat me senseless. But I discovered the truth, Zogby. Wal-Mart wasn't a big, faceless mechanical creature, forged in the crucible of Hell. Zogby, come closer..."








"Tell John Kerry... Tell his minions and supporters... before they killed it, Wal-Mart was made out of people...."

The Way to Bleedin'

There is nothing more satisfying, than saving a bunch of hippies from their own exploding space ship, just to have them insult you in your own house.












Naturally, we try to reach out. Of course this will be a fruitless exercise. The modern liberal is not interested in participating in solutions to difficult world problems. They are only interested in one goal. Wallowing in their own pessimistic failure, insisting that the worlds problems are the result of the greedy capitalist military complex.






To be sure, there are still powerful political operatives on the the left. The military continues to walk on eggshells, just because they are worried about the political backlash. They would love to shove the little creep into the brig, but you know... Daddy's got connections in D.C.








It is all about peace, love and brotherhood right? That's the Hollywood goal. As long as you agree with their philosophy, the party will be fun, civilized, cordial and musical. Everyone will sing, dance and redistribute the wealth of the universe.












But then there is that moody, somber university professor, who has managed to pollute his brain with years of thinking too hard, while languishing in guilt ridden self analysis. Only getting in touch with the primitives can cleanse him, or so he says. So he decides to reject everything in his world, and embrace the struggle of the terrorists.







The young left wing wildflower, ponders for a moment, knowing in his heart that he is about to participate in the murder of everyone on the good ship America.
In a brief moment of ideological intervention, by Professor Chomsky, he gets over his mild attack of conscience. He continues to twiddle the deadly knobs of political correctness. Not to be killed off easily, the conservatives will recover from this sabotage.




Unfortunately, an aggressive enemy does not easily suffer the will of fools. They can only watch them consume their own bowl of hemlock.











Even the bleeding intellectual insists on remaining blind to the facts of the situation. Why... Eden is right there! Why can't we all just follow the cleansing plan, and ignore the poison planet, trying to kill us at every turn? Maybe if we just ignore the problem, rush out and grab the fruit, we can continue to live in paradise.








Too bad it does not work that way. Incessantly bashing the people who are saving the world from terrorism, while leading them into enemy territory, will not turn your cyanide laced kool-aide into fine California wine.





It will still kill you.

Peepers Creepers

I just finished listening to twenty minutes of radio broadcast, sold as coverage of the JonBenet Ramsey murder.
I am not sure when it started, or whether it is getting worse. All I can tell you, is the interface between the sensationalist media and the public, is rubbing a raw nerve in my brain.

The Press continue to press things that won't be pressed, because they think the pressure will squeeze out some ink for the press. There is no content, context or conscience.

Then there is the PR team, on the other side of the lens. They completely waste our precious public airwaves, with twenty minutes of unbroken backslapping of fellow bureaucrats, without a scant residue of useful information.

It is my understanding that this pervert put up his own red flag. Why do I have to listen to a long litany of self-congratulatory bubble wrap and packing peanuts, which will travel straight from my cochlear canal, to my brain's equivalent of the Window's trash can?

I have some news for you, Ms. Lacy. I don't care if Dunkin Joe-nuts was courageous enough to put in a couple extra hours at the city desk, to pick up a call from Ding Dong Wong from Thailand. I just don’t care about your job satisfaction. Call a press conference, when you have something relevant to offer.

When I hear this crap, I think of the Big Dig, with a similar cast of group hug hacks. Everyone walks around, bragging about their excellence, sans results.

If this guy turns out to be a hoax, I hope they give him the full jail term anyway.

Why?

Because he virtually dug up the body of a little girl, dead these nine years, and raped it again for his fifteen minutes of camera copulation. It is still an ugly crime, even in this context.


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It could Happen

Let's have some fun for a change, by considering how life will be after Insolublog's dream candidate is elected president.

Alec Baldwin did not just promise to leave the country. He threatened to phase shift into the nearest parallel universe.

Helen Thomas is caught whispering, “You would never see George Bush act this irresponsibly.”

James Carville, has a violent seizure in front of a CNN camera, which forces him into a premature molt of his current reptile flesh covering.

Al Gore finally bursts that pulsing blood vessel in his forehead. He and Mikhail Gorbachev embark on a new Vaudeville revival called “It's not easy being green, with a big purple stain on your head”. Al is the drooling puppet, sitting on Mickey's knee.

Michael Moore tries to rake in another windfall, by waddling across Europe, peddling his new movie “Apocalypse Wow!”, criticizing the very recent nuclear bombardment of Tehran.

Al Franken finally has that obnoxious smirk slapped off his face, by a secret service agent. The agent claims it was done for national security.

Cindy Sheehan appears on the Today show, has her head shaved, her eyebrows waxed off and a peace sign tattooed on her forehead. She is then hugged by former Culture Club lead Boy George, as he tearfully says “We are now sisters, in protest.” Cindy's ratings are still in the toilet.

Natalie Mains of Dixie chick fame has a Janet Jackson style camera 'accident'. The resulting scandal makes the front cover of “Aberdeen Angus World” magazine.

Howard Dean switches to decaf.

Hugo Chavez is caught by CIA cameras, having a Brokeback moment with Raul Castro. We don't see it or hear about it, but suddenly U.S. oil prices begin to drop on increased Venezuela production.

Jack Murtha suffers a Depends failure, on the floor of the house.

Kofi Annan is taken aside and privately reminded that sometimes, in a queer twist of fate, people suddenly choke to death on a free jumbo shrimp or a cocktail weenie, at a state department luncheon. Shortly thereafter, he has a revelation, culminating in the realization that life is too short to be squabbling over failed policies.

Every damn terrorist, found poisoning the minds of children, will be instantly rewarded with back stage passes to the afterlife, where they can go live on Gilligan's Island, with 72 indestructible virgin clones of Maureen Dowd, each incessantly bitching about how much she hates men.

Jesse Jackson will give a rousing speech about how the president “T'was brilling, and the slithy toves.” and how he “Did grye and gimble in the wabe.” . He will invoke the feeling of the masses with “All mimsy were the borogroves And the mome raths outgrabe.” Of course, as usual, nobody will know what the hell he's babbling about.

John Kerry will go to France for another Botox treatment. While there, he decides to have a face transplant instead. He winds up looking, and sounding, like the young Jerry Lewis.

Hillary Clinton delivers a speech, about the new administration, in the midst of preliminary construction at the WTC site. Her harpy cackle sets up a deadly resonance between the structures, bringing down a hailstorm of glass shards on her supporters.

I can dream, can't I? Care to add?

Go Visit Peakah

Be provocated to visit memory lane.


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The Party is Over

I am talking about the recent Lieberman defeat. It needed to happen.

Extremism exposes Hypocrisy

What happens when you let emotional hysteria rule your decision process? You begin to compromise your core moral principles for a single goal, instead of making your single goal the selling of your core moral principles. It is that simple.

That is what the liberals did to Joe Lieberman. Respect for race and culture, was always a stated principle of liberal philosophy. They black-faced Joe, using an insulting racial metaphor, intending the racially denigrating component of that metaphor. Chris Matthews, Jesse Jackson etc. spew unchallenged anti-Semitic bile with casual flair. It is all for the cause of securing the support of an unpalatable base. Shed one moral principle.

The liberals are supposed to be for fairness and free speech. They replace a person, who was a consistent, intelligent advocate of liberal philosophy, for his position on a single issue. The only mistake the man made was to stand by his decision, instead of flipping like a beached fish on hot political sand. Then they hacked into Joe Lieberman's web site, shutting it down. Shed another moral principle, maybe two.

WAL-MART is probably frequented by more of the Democrat constituency, than any other company. They replace Joe with a proven hypocrite, who bashed the evil big business of WAL-MART, while owning stock in the company, which he purchased first hand. There goes another core principle.

Lanny Davis, who has probably never listened to five continuous, unedited minutes of Limbaugh with his own ears, tries to attach the reprehensible behavior of his own comrades, to people on the conservative side. I am sure his opinions about conservatives, are routinely vended by that very same reprehensible constituency. Oh well. So much for intelligent analysis.

Now they are begging Joe to stay out of the race as an independent. They want him to bow out, for the good of the Democrat party.

Let's see.

• They drug Joe at the Democrat party.
• They haul him out of the party, into a back alley.
• They beat him up.
• They laugh at him.
• They spit on him.
• They take his wallet.

What a fun party! Now they are begging him not to call the police, because it might be bad for the party. The party is over. Run, Joe, run. Do it on your principles, not your party.

Polarity Breeds Decision
Why do we hate Washington? They are all the same crooks right?

Well this is the other gift. If the liberals push the far left and the conservatives push the far right, then the people will finally have a decision to make. The polarity will make those poles visible.

You cannot win a culture war, when your combatants are hopelessly blended into a large sea of indecisive mediocrity. There is a significant difference between these poles. Most conservative politicians sell their principles, and argue against liberal principles, hoping you will accept the result. Most liberal politicians, sell their hate of conservatives and conservatism as their principle product for sale, even at the expense of their principles.


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Reuters Bagged Again

Reuters has been caught altering a genuine stock photograph of the dreaded Sasquatch, which was taken by another Reuters photographer between wars. The image was then photoshopped to surround the figure with a human hand.

Then they have the gall to pass it off as a Baby Panda.










UPDATE:

Insolublog news service has obtained a copy of the original shot. *












(* Hmmm. Looks like I am more skilled at the GIMP clone tool than the 'professional' Reuters dude.)

Warmest Regards

With every turn, they desperately re-tool the details of the Faberge veneer they have crafted over the shell of their fermented rotten egg.

If it's too cold, it's global warming. If it's too hot, it's global warming. If there are too many storms, it's global warming. If there are too few storms, well, the sudden change in the accuracy of the storm predictability must be due to global warming. Ugly Paris fashions? It must be global warming. Rage in the Arab street? Nope. That's a clever combination of George Bush, the Jews and global warming.

Back during the beginning of the season, you could see the spittle, forming at the corners of their mouths, as they insisted that last year's storm statistics were an Oracle, predicting our impending doom.

"Is this global warming? From now on will we see only active hurricane seasons? That's the big question," says Canadian weather guru Dave Phillips of Environment Canada.

While there is no scientific proof that the buildup of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere is breeding more hurricanes, Phillips says global warming could be contributing to the unusual power of the big storms, like last year's Katrina.

"We are seeing stronger hurricanes - almost a 100 per cent increase in category fours and fives," he says.

Then we saw the testimony of actual weather experts. You know; the type of people that really analyze numbers, without steeping them in green hallucinogenic tea beforehand. Boring. They came out and predicted that the storm patterns were part of a cyclical pattern.

These cycles, called the tropical multi-decadal signal, typically last several decades (20 to 30 years or even longer). As a result, the North Atlantic experiences alternating decades long (20 to 30 year periods or even longer) of above normal or below normal hurricane seasons.

Damn.

Once again, simple, easy to understand, patiently collected data was ruining that perfectly timed political synergy of Hollywood, Democrat has-been hysteria, a statistical peak in the weather and the comfort of being a cool, hip, environmentally sensitive Paul Revere, saving the planet from the raging, category five, racist, neocon storm.

Didn't they get Al Gore's memo?

Didn't they see the temper tantrum thrown by Katrina, smashing and drowning the planet in aromatic hydrocarbons, tax cuts for the rich and volatile hostility towards the poor and infirmed?

Of course, The NOAA folks were razed by the warming climate.

We predict that this year's hurricane season will be more like last year's, or worse: 28 named storms, 15 of them hurricanes and four of them Category 5 hurricanes. We can make this prediction because we are not motivated by a political agenda as is the leadership of NOAA.

Their agenda is to cover up the growing scientific evidence that links global warming to more destructive and more frequent Category 4 and 5 storms.

Yes, the NOAA folks are driven by an evil agenda. I am sure it was orchestrated by the same caustic cabal of corporate globalist apparatchiks that brought the 9/11 towers down with government drones and blamed it on Muslim terrorists.
Yeah, that's the ticket. Then the NOAA team was criticized for being one-sided and closed-minded.

Last year NOAA put out misleading, one-sided information about the state of knowledge on the connection between global warming and increased hurricane intensity. That cannot be allowed to happen again this year. Climate Science Watch challenges the CCSP leadership to insist on credible government communications on this subject.

Yeah. We never see that behavior coming from the chicken little crowd, do we?

Just look at the state of knowledge at the college campus, or the public schools or Wikipedia or Cannes or the UN. It is a gleeful fascist state of knowledge, willing to listen to all sides, then obliterate the unfashionable. After all, any opinion unwilling to endorse the collective guilt of western civilization, is a Sophist weed, corrupting the pristine garden of liberal thought.

Well, watch out. Another unforgivable barbarian horde of university number crunchers have stormed over the intellectual waters of the restless Rubicon, to raise their swords and challenge the entrenched warming fuzzy wisdom, by downgrading the prophecy, as testified in Big Gay Al's book of Rovelations.

MIAMI, Aug 3 (Reuters) - A noted hurricane research team on Thursday reduced its forecast for the Atlantic hurricane season but said it would still be above average with 15 tropical storms, seven of which would become hurricanes.

In May, the Colorado State University team formed by pioneer forecaster William Gray had predicted the 2006 season would bring 17 storms and that nine would become hurricanes.

By not prostrating themselves to the will of the enlightened consensus, these guys risk wrathful summary judgment by the Earth mother, Gaia.

You mean, yet another group is keeping Al's memo at arm's length?

Gasp. To be sure, the season is not over, so the bet is hedged.

"What occurs in June and July has very little correlation with what occurs later in the season," he said. "I have a bell I ring on Aug. 20, because that is the real start of the active season. For the next 50 or 60 days up until about Oct. 20, that is the active season. "

One thing is for sure; It will be a stormy season. Stock up on candles, batteries and back issues of National Review. I predict a whopper moving in on or about the first tuesday in November.


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A top 500 Reviewer

James Stephen Garrett "Teep" (Arkham Asylum)


This man has written some truly hilarious reviews of popular media, posted at Amazon.com

I really enjoyed the roving expose' of Al Gore's Inconvenient Truth. His alphabetic parade over "V" for Vendetta is a must read.

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