Duct Tape won't fix this one

Over at the Spectator:

Saul Alinsky Takes the White House

By Quin Hillyer on 11.6.08 @ 6:09AM

First, I want to thank the media and the Chicago Marxist thug-ocracy, for being the willing Church of the New Hope, in the ascendancy of Obama. You guys really pulled it off, for your warrior king. By warrior, I mean someone that can assign himself warrior status in a video game, but cower in fear over a real political decision. You guys are his true north star. You carefully guided him, through his entire journey. Through thick, through thin, you managed to buy the White House with millions of rapidly devaluing, and untraceable dollars. Thank you for creating a fabulous Charles Dickens fictional campaign for the 'poor', replete with anecdotal flourishes. You guys really did it, by doing what you do best. You pressed your puckered lips, square on his politically correct ass. I hope true American patriots, soon give you every reward you have coming to you.

I want to nominate the Saul Alinsky award for using any means necessary, to ACORN, for its hard fought victory over voter enfranchisement.

I want to thank all of the American Idol, new age, hope and change couch potatoes (yes the Dan Quail spelling). You guys swept the crumbs out of your laps, took a big swig of Kool-aide, and shuffled your ignorant ass to the polls.

I want to thank the college punks, who listened to endless lectures from aging hippies, about speaking truth to power and civil disobedience. You reacted with rife hypocrisy. You swallowed lie after lie. You obeyed every snake charming command. You marched to the polls, with your orders in hand and the thoughts of demagogues in your heads. You were the spokes in Obama's wheel of power. Pathetic. Thank you for not taking 10 milliseconds to challenge your perverse universe of thinking. Thanks for discarding real history and real suffering, at the command of your liberal proctors. It was too difficult. Now you signed up for the next four-year semester of the school of hard knocks. I hope it's instructive.

I want to thank the Republican National Committee, for deciding that concensus, liberal capitulation and for treating a wrestling cage match election, like a game of checkers. You guys stood by, nodding and whimpering, while the media Church of the new Hope was pulling the rug from beneath your jellied caviar asses. Guess what? You cannot crush jackasses, with a blind and deaf elephant. Duh.

I want to thank John McCain. Thanks John, for being duped into thinking you were a media darling. I want to thank you for being a creature of the despised senate, and wresting the award for being the worst Republican candidate for president, from the former record holder, Bob Dole. You were a good boy John, take a pat on the head and a soup bone. Go back to being the small-D democrat and small-L liberal we always knew you were.

I want to thank president Bush. You refused every opportunity to come on TV, and defend you're party and policies, from an escalating deranged narrative. You burned away the last two years of your presidency, playing the Clinton game of legacy preservation. You violated your constitutional duty, to preserve our borders. You crow-barred a 700B bailout, through congress, without placing the blame where it belongs. You, ex-president Bush, our commander in chief, the guy who landed on the aircraft carrier and delivered turkey to the troops, are just another hopeless and wreckless D.C. failure. True leaders prepare the people. True leaders inform the people. True leaders trust the people. We have no true leaders. Mr President, you may have been respected, before you traded that respect for the love of the camera and the calculus of the cameraman.

I want to thank all the undecided moderate civic simpletons who opted to take their ignorant lunch pail to the voting booth. Instead of admitting that you do not have a single clue about the government, you voted for dope and spare change. If you were undecided, moving into the final moments of this election, you are probably a fool. The process is simple.

• Itemize the top ten issues of our time.
• Assign each candidate, positive and negative scores on those issues. Discard all decisions rationalized by feelings as dangerous and irresponsible. Keep all facts.
• Compare them.
• Contrast them.
• Praise them.
• Criticize them.
• Subtract: Obama - NoBama = X.
• If X is negative, you obviously cannot follow the latter instructions, your are a fool, and you voted for Obama.
• If X is positive, you were trying to wade through a sea of disgust and save our democratinc constitutional republic for a few more months or years.
• If X is zero, you are a hopelessly undecided fool, who should be sterilized, to preserve humanity.

If this simple exercise is beyond your grasp, you are a fool. If it took you, until election night, to accomplish this, you are a fool. The Obama presidency was not a prime time episode of 'scare tactics'. It was real. Ok? Your whimsical, university pillow party, just super-glued a Marxist's finger to the biggest nuclear trigger on this small and lonely blue planet.

Enjoy it, losers.