Twelve Impeachable Men

Senators Back Guest Workers
Panel's Measure Sides With Bush
By Jonathan Weisman
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, March 28, 2006; A01

I love the way the media cherry picks the language they use for their stories. Here I provide a translation of key points in Weisman's piece, inserting the appropriate language.

A key Senate panel broke with the House's get-tough approach to illegal immigration yesterday and sent to the floor a broad revision of the nation's immigration laws that would provide lawful employment to millions of undocumented workers while offering work visas to hundreds of thousands of new immigrants every year.

Insolu-Translation:

A key Senate panel committed felonious and treasonous conspiracy with an invading foreign power yesterday and sent to the floor a broad gutting of the nation's largely un-enforced immigration laws that would wipe out the parts of those laws which point out their hypocrisy and failure.

With bipartisan support, the Senate Judiciary Committee voted 12 to 6 to side with President Bush's general approach to an immigration issue that is dividing the country, fracturing the Republican Party and ripening into one of the biggest political debates of this election year. Conservatives have loudly demanded that the government tighten control of U.S. borders and begin deporting illegal immigrants. But in recent weeks, the immigrant community has risen up in protest, marching by the hundreds of thousands to denounce what they see as draconian measures under consideration in Washington.

Insolu-Translation:

With liberal and greed driven support, the Senate Judiciary Committee voted 12 to 6 to commit treasonous abrogation of constitutional duty by employing a general approach to an criminal foreign invader issue that is dividing the country, fracturing the Republican Party and ripening into one of the biggest political debates of this election year. Conservatives have loudly demanded that the government tighten control of U.S. borders and begin deporting illegal immigrants. But in recent weeks, the illegal criminal invaders and their felonious conspirators have risen up in protest, marching by the hundreds of thousands to denounce what sensible American citizens see as enforcement of the rule of law.

"There is no issue outside of civil rights that brings out the kind of emotions we have seen," said Sen. Edward M. Kennedy (D-Mass.), one of the bill's primary sponsors, who called the controversy "a defining issue of our times."

Insolu-Translation:

"There is no issue outside of hatred for Bush and being rich enough to buy your way out of negligent homicide that brings out the kind of emotions we have seen," Said Sen. Edward M. Kennedy (D-Mass.), one of the primary felonious conspirators, who called the controversy "a great club to beat conservatives with."

Judiciary Committee Chairman Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) rushed committee members to complete their work to meet a midnight deadline imposed by Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.), who favors a tougher approach more in line with the version passed by the House last December. But once the committee had acted, Frist declined to say last night whether he would substitute the committee's legislation for his own, which includes no guest-worker program.

Insolu-Translation:

Judiciary Committee Chairman Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) rushed committee members to complete their act of seditious, state sanctioned negligence to meet a midnight deadline imposed by Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.), who favors law enforcement. But once the committee had acted, Frist declined to say last night whether he would substitute the committee's legislation for his own, which includes no criminal invader amnesty program.

Frist's efforts to wrest control of the issue from the Judiciary Committee could produce a power struggle among Republicans once the majority leader brings up the issue for debate and votes in the full Senate, probably this week. Specter and the other committee leaders may have to muscle their bill through as an amendment if Frist refuses to back down.

Insolu-Translation:

Frist's patriotic efforts to preserve the meaning behind writing laws, could produce a power struggle with liberals and greed driven conspirators, who insist we ignore enforcement of laws they don't like.

"Congress needs to pass a comprehensive bill that secures the border, improves interior enforcement, and creates a temporary-worker program to strengthen our security and our economy," Bush said yesterday at a ceremony to swear in 30 new U.S. citizens from 20 countries. "Completing a comprehensive bill is not going to be easy. It will require all of us in Washington to make tough choices and make compromises."

Insolu-Translation:

"Congress needs to chisel more incomprehensible Hieroglyphs on the books of congress that babble on about border security, interior enforcement, and creates another temporary mood soothing program to strengthen our political position," Bush said yesterday at a ceremony to swear in 30 new U.S. citizens from 20 countries. "Completing another epitaph, dedicated to the death of national will and pride, is not going to be easy. It will require all of us in Washington to make tough grammar choices and sound bites, which haven't already been used to spin this issue."

But the immigrant community has been galvanized by what it sees as a heavy-handed crackdown on undocumented workers by Washington. The House in December rejected calls for a guest-worker program and instead approved a bill that would stiffen penalties on illegal immigrants, force businesses to run the names of each employee through federal databases to prove their legality, deploy more border agents and unmanned aerial vehicles to the nation's frontiers and build massive walls along sections of the U.S.-Mexican border.

Insolu-Translation:

But the criminal mob has been galvanized by what it sees as an attempt to enforce the law on foreign invaders by Washington. The House in December rejected calls for an invader amnesty program and instead approved a bill that would add more feel-good harsh language to the congressional register, asking felonious business criminals, if they would be nice enough to run the names of each employee through federal databases to prove their legality. Wink, nod, if Jose Morales shows up a million times, your worker is probably OK. They also deployed more border agents to arrest American citizens for defending their land and unmanned aerial vehicles to identify and treat thirsty desert travelers.

At least 14,000 students stormed out of schools in Southern California and elsewhere yesterday, waving flags and chanting to protest congressional actions. About 100 demonstrators, including members of the clergy, appeared at the Capitol yesterday in handcuffs to object to provisions in the House bill that would make illegal immigrants into felons and criminalize humanitarian groups that feed and house them. More than a half-million marchers protested in Los Angeles on Saturday, following protests in Phoenix, Milwaukee and Philadelphia.

Insolu-Translation:

At least 14,000 felonious conspirators, pot smoking liberals and tax-sucking illegal parasites stormed out of schools in Northern Nuevo Mexico and elsewhere yesterday, waving Mexican flags and chanting to protest law enforcement. About 100 demonstrators, including members of the clergy, appeared at the Capitol yesterday in handcuffs to engage in the usual ridiculous, symbolically ignorant posturing. More than a half-million illegal marchers protested in Los Angeles on Saturday, following mobs in Phoenix, Milwaukee and Philadelphia.

"The immigration debate should be conducted in a civil and dignified way," Bush said. "No one should play on people's fears, or try to pit neighbors against each other."

You mean, like a mob of half a million foreign invaders, playing on the fears of politicians, Mr. President?

"We are eager, once the Senate passes this bill, to sit down and talk with them, but there are certain fundamental principles which we simply cannot compromise on," said Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), who cosponsored the bill that passed the Judiciary Committee largely intact last night. "It has to be a comprehensive approach. As we all know, just building walls and hiring more border patrols are not the answers to our immigration problem."

Insolu-Translation:

"We are eager, once the Senate passes this bill, to sit down and congratulate ourselves for a nation well screwed. We won't mind talking with them, once the bill's passed, since talk means nothing after that. Free talk for everyone!," said Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), who cosponsored the bill that passed the Judiciary Committee largely intact last night. "It has to be a comprehensive amnesty for criminal invaders. As we all know, building walls and hiring more border patrols is more cosmetic than anything else."

Specter, the committee chairman, had tried for weeks to find a middle ground between senators advocating a generous guest-worker program and those categorically rejecting amnesty for illegal immigrants. In the end, that search for a compromise failed because advocates of the guest-worker program had more than enough votes to overcome conservative opposition.

Insolu-Translation:

Specter, the committee chairman, had tried for weeks to find a middle ground between enforcing the law and breaking the law. In the end, that search for a compromise failed because advocates of breaking the law had more than enough votes to overcome conservative opposition.

The panel's bill would allow the estimated 11 million illegal immigrants in this country to apply for a work visa after paying back taxes and a penalty. The first three-year visa could be renewed for three more years. After four years, visa holders could apply for green cards and begin moving toward citizenship. An additional 400,000 such visas would be offered each year to workers seeking to enter the country.

Insolu-Translation:

The panel's bill would impose restrictions that illegal criminal invaders will ignore, but sound like punishment to the American public. After four years, American citizens will realize just how useless this was, only they will then have a population of 13 million criminal foreign invaders.

Senators also accepted a proposal by Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) that would offer 1.5 million illegal farmworkers a "blue card" visa that would legalize their status. The committee also accepted a provision by Sen. Richard J. Durbin (D-Ill.) that would shield humanitarian organizations from prosecution for providing more than simple emergency aid to illegal immigrants, rejecting an amendment by Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tex.) to require humanitarian groups providing food, medical aid and advice to illegal immigrants to register with the Department of Homeland Security.

Insolu-Translation:

Senators also accepted a proposal by Vincente Fox, to have Mexican presses start to vigorously print "blue card" visas, that would legalize their status. The committee also accepted a provision by Sen. Richard J. Durbin (D-Ill.) that would shield humanitarian organizations from prosecution for being outright criminal accomplices, by supplying more than simple emergency aid to illegal immigrants.

Sen. Jon Kyl (R-Ariz.) protested that the Feinstein proposal was more focused on offering illegal immigrants a path to citizenship than meeting the labor demands of agriculture. Cornyn suggested the Judiciary Committee bill was moving toward creating a caste of second-class workers.

But Cornyn may have summed up Senate fears when he referred to energized voters protesting what they see as amnesty for people who violated the nation's laws and made a mockery of its borders.

"The American people are thinking, 'Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me,' " he said. "The only way we can get the confidence of the American people is to convince them we are absolutely serious about border security and law enforcement."

Insolu-Translation:

None needed, for the honorable, patriotic Sen. Cornyn and Sen. Kyl.

We have a huge debt piling up. We have a Social Security system about to implode, with a large raft of seniors on board. Nobody is fixing that problem now; It seems to have disappeared from the radar screen. What is engaging my Republican bretheren in congress? Another huge entitlement giveaway, in the form of taxpayer funded support for illegal invaders. Where is that money going to come from?

Go read 'Guests or gate crashers'
by one of my favorite conservatives, Dr. Thomas Sowell.