Wednesday, June 04, 2008

McGovern versus Dole

A rant.

I suffer from sort of cultural myopia. This limited vision anchors my thoughts, to my own personal, warm buttered slice of time. Of course, lately the butter has hardened a bit, since the heat has been turned down. The slice is very lightly toasted. The slice has gotten a bit smaller.

My beliefs are conservative. What a backwards dinosaur I am. I am supposed to suck it up and be respectful of the ebbs and flows of American culture and progress. John McCain says I need to accept reality. Thanks John. You are my inspiration.

The Grand Old Party is warning me that I might suffer a God awful precipitate of lethal liberal nerve toxin, should I withhold my crucial and much coveted support for dear John's candidacy. Just give me a moment. I have to carefully wipe John's latest saliva discharge, from the surface of my corneas. There. I can actually see the ballot check-box next to his name. No problem.. That's uhhh... better... I guess.

I need an anchor.

That is what I desperately need. (my fingers are groping about aimlessly)

Perhaps I need to embrace the liberal mantra of emotional gratification.

I need to believe in ethanol production ahead of food production. This way, I can fight global warming and pull the abomination of genetically modified carbohydrates out of the mouths of African babes, before they realize the consequences of their foolish food seeking behavior. As they starve, the pure thoughts of being liberated from the American capitalist hegemony, will elevate their spirits to the promised land. We can have two birds with one stone! Che Guevara would be proud. Whew! Liberal minded victory!

Why should I continue to encourage the principles of carefully tendered and pruned hypothesis, as a basis for moving humanity forward, as those ugly Brylcream slicked scientists used to do, with their genuine nerdy respect for stupid numbers and statistics?

Screw that!

I need the cool, hip kid with the frosted hair, who can move his research through the torrential rivulets of the current media complex, by exuding late night, Starbucks and espresso inspired political angst, in front of cameras. I need to carefully shake those cameras by computer algorithm or by reality-trained professionals, so that the shaking makes the drama look like authentic, spontaneous coverage.

This culture has given me the fast track toward decisions, by cultivating the art of argument by concensus. It is an old and respected tool of antiquity, for successfully destroying civilizations; (They used to call it propaganda).

Now they call it progress. Maybe I should call it progreganda. Hmm. Doesn't sound good. I will just call it bullshit.

The progress comes from regurgitation of priorities set by the elite liberal establishment, which on its left hand excoriates Bush for his connection to the Saudis, and on its other hand, takes Saudi and Arab money in the form of big University grants, following those grants with big
criticism of both the U.S. and Israel.

To all the aging hippies of the past, the raging hippies of the new illiteratti and their RINO Quislings

You tell stories to your children, about how you walked a mile to the school bus stop, without cell phones, iPods and Goretex boots. Your father told you about walking four miles, without a transistor radio or a ball point pens. Your father told stories about his father, talking about depression, meals, re-using flour sacks for clothes, canning home grown garden vegetables for winter, burning wood for heat and basic things you take for granted.

Now your children can tell their children, if they don't abort them, about how great medical care, energy prices and cell phones used to be, until your collectivist, communist and environmental lunacy bombed them all back to depression. They can do this while their kids contemplate their next government sponsored meal and other government sponsored basics of human existence, provided by the dwindling tax base, of your dying population; A population who had the audacity of hope, to privately save for retirement.

Your foolish forefathers, in their zeal to make your pathetic lives better, have stripped you of instructive cultural stresses. Those stresses shape you, with national pride, to develop the things which make U.S. great.

Since you cannot respect this concept, without spewing a stream of Chomsky vomit, You should really put the stress on.

You should just print more money. You know this screws up the economy. But, let's face it. You need to save moron borrowers from moron banks. You need to save both from their moron decisions, inspired by your moron liberal social policies. If this holds off the inevitable recession, for a few months, in trade for a recession ten times worse, well you needed to break some eggs, to get your B.O. president elected, Ok?

You can then stress out in a great depression, Which you can then convince yourself will be solved, by Franklin Delano Obama, even though you set the stage for the whole disaster, with your media campaign. If you are lucky beyond hope, American freedom and ingenuity may rescue you. You will try to make sure, that American freedom and ingenuity will not get the credit.

You and the rest of us, can then pay extra for everything, because everything will cost extra. Don't rate. Don't debate. ...Just medicate. Just pump opiates into your thoughts, both legally and illegally derived, and switch on the ugly tube, with the next Obama feel-good rally.

Health-caring for everyone. That is the new motto. When you are whisked into emergency surgery to pull an infected gallstone, stuck in one of your pipes, because you couldn't see a specialist for 18 months, remember, we now have the same, fair, emotionally satisfying Obama/Hillary socialist bureau-crap-fest that has served Great Britain in its desperate hour of social need.

You can't say it will be low cost, since it will be based on the same fusion of public and private Washington lobby synergy that brought America the five hundred dollar toilet seat, and the sixteen billion dollar leaking Boston tunnel. Yes, that's right. YOU, the people, who endlessly bitched about unbridled Pentagon spending, who are encouraging that same style of solution for everything. Do not detach government; enable it.

Some companies love having a customer that pays, pays again and pays even more, without complaint for the same crappy service. It sounds like the federal government to me. Hooray! Welcome to genuine corporate criminal behavior; The criminal behavior that stifles competition, buys government influence, through lobbyists and solons. Welcome to the companies that attach themselves to your unwilling wallet. The same companies and goverment that are now gaining enormous power in China and the world. This is the criminal behavior that the liberal establishment loves to call socially responsible.

Soon, your conscience will be submerged. You will soon be relieved , as you feverishly wallow in your state sponsored, super-bug antibiotic resistant staff infection. Hey, listen now. Vigorous aggressive flesh-eating bacteria have an inalienable right to survive, in this world. If they have to swarm over the unprotected southern borders of your extremities, you must accept it, without protest, for the welfare of all of those new cells, born within the organic jurisdicition of your body's constitution.

Suck it up.

You are suffering for billions of children per hour, which makes it your pleasure, even if you do not personally feel it. Maybe the new Democrat Carousel should charge you a luxury tax before you succumb and die, as the organs that serve your infrastructure fail from abuse and lack of treatment.

If you recover, by some miraculous circumstance, distract yourself by going to the movies. Watch an emotionally crafted film by an emotionally crafted fool, like Michael Moore or Albert Gore. First, go see the movie about Iraq. Use that reaction to pull funding for national security. Next, see the next movie about the medical system. Use that reaction to spend the money you saved on the first reaction. Next, see the movie with computer generated imagery, being paraded as scientific mandate. Use that reaction to steal more savings, from citizens who are trying to insulate themselves from ugly Communist predators.

See how easy that is? There is no need to look to the past or the future. You just take that well crafted feeling, and the well crafted instruction to not listen to anyone else, and ride with it.

Take your cue from the stars. Celebrities do not celebrate with celibate behavior. You don't have to either, if you don't want to. Just do what they do. Poke away with your genetic equipment in that sea of pleasurable indifference. Try the same side. Try both sides. You can always vacuum out the indiscretion with an abortion later, if your hedonistic plumbing happens to be of opposite polarity. You can always claim it was mandated by the pre-fabricated geometry of the airport bathroom stall. It just feels so good to be submerged in spontaneous satisfaction, while at the same time contributing to the decline of evil, greedy western populations.

You are a big baby, with a big baby's emotional needs. Just demand immediate satisfaction by pissing, whining and crying as loudly as you can until a lobbyist driven politician plugs your big, fat, immature baby pie hole with an entitlement pacifier.

If you are voted into the U.S. house and you can't win your argument on the floor, invite your white opponent to be karate chopped in the hall. This makes you a real man, because the term gentleman is so 'yesterday'. Liberal politicians, like you, can just dance around, creating foreign policy, trashing domestic policy, generating new emotional social policy and fabricating parliamentary procedure on the fly. You can flaunt all the rules, while simultaneously policing speech you don't like. What could be more fun?

The Golden Rule is: The Supreme Court makes the Rules, after the gold is stuffed into the pockets of the appropriate congressional over-site subcommittee.

Why have any respect for the rule of law?

It is such a fucking pain in the posterior to enforce.

With all those porcine ear marks, who has time to actually do what the people say? As long as you don't threaten to withhold your tax tribute, there is no reason to enforce the law. The IRS should be the only hand of government you fear. Government is your big, soft and squishy mommy. Your mommy will wipe your nose and tuck you in. Your mommy will wipe you dry, when you come in from the hurricane, with the fresh bills, that she slips from your wallet.

Even if your presence is unsanctioned, you can invade the country, bugger children, rape citizens and run citizens down, in a oil-burning pick-up with a landscaping sign on it, while in an illegal drunken stupor, cruising illegally, without a legal licence or legal citizenship.

Just like mommy, your judicial system will always forgive you, for each and every infraction. Just don't run for office, to change mommy's bureaucracy.

If you are a genuine, verifyable citizen, by God, do not fail to file that tax return. Mommy doesn't like 'tax cheats', esp. those she can track with a valid SSN. Illegal immigrants are just special immigrants are they not? Those are children, in their arms. This means you must discard all other considerations, like border security, rule of law and peripheral nonsense like that. Since 9/11 a veritable mountain of new bureaucratic paperwork is in place. Government employees are overstressed. Neither you, nor they, need new computer systems or an overhaul of the moldy bureaucracy.

You need some downtime.

You need some aromatherapy.

Just reset the ticket counter at the deli and give the finger to all those who took a ticket and have a number. Just take that mountain of illegal people paperwork and shred it with a nice clean act of emotional legislation. By all means, you do not want to hurt anybody's feelings, or incur any serious duty, by referring to that nasty Constitution thang.

If you don't belong here, it's ok. You will get a free American sandwich, a chocolate milk, a pat on the head and the gold star of citizenship with a health care chaser.

There was a president who said it was not about what your country does for you, but what you do for your country. That is all in the past.

It's now just about the rhetorical 'You'.

ALL of this is the America that ALL of the candidates want me to accept. This it is the America I reject, because it will be the end of everything American

6 comments:

Michael said...

OutStanding rant, Sir.

I've linked to your post over at Supply Side Politics 2.0.

Insolublog said...

Thanks Michael. I am growing tired of this steady and unwelcome decline.

Wyatt Earp said...

Jesus Christ, that was brilliant! I bow to your Buddhist-Comservative nature.

RT said...

Now, that was a rant!

Insolublog said...

Wyatt,RT -

Thanks friends. I don't feel I deserve the praise. My blogging time has been severely curtailed. I started to answer in a comment. To preserve what little blogging time I have these days, I will put together another post.

Your new site is blogrolled, Wyatt.

Thanks.

Peakah said...

Well done. Long live the Insolu-rant!