Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Alright Everybody

Don't kill yourself over this (ahem) setback.

Just imagine how worse off you could be. You could be one of our soldiers, wondering if the mission will be cancelled in defeat, after some of your dear friends were killed or injured. Just make it clear to the new regime that this ridiculous Vietnamization of the war will not be tolerated.

Think of your friend Insolublog. He has lived in a smothering bowl of berry Blue moonbat kool-aide flavored jello his entire voting life. He has seen Mike Dukakis, followed by 17 anemic, limp-wristed years of Massachusetts style Republicanism which embarrassed itself into extinction with Jane Swift, Fat Matt Amorello and Paul Celluci. That Jello wasn't even like, Republican Raspberry Red. it was a gooey, purple conglomerate; tasteless and sloppy. No wonder it is now being picked up by an illegal Mexican immigrant and flushed out into the harbor, after he stops by the RMV and picks up his new drivers license. Muchas gracious Deval!

When William Jefferson Clinton became the first African American president, the white house got a taste of some white chocolate, in the Ray Nagin vernacular. Now Massachusetts has the bitter dark chocolate version of Bill Clinton. Now your troubles don't look so bad do they? Relax. It's only a movie.

Liberal American resolve is now a cheap Hollywood ribbon, replete with dramatic flourishes and empty suits, loaded with political vaporware. You remember the muffled unintelligible noises made by the adults in the Charlie Brown holiday specials? That's what modern liberal American politics has become. You don't actually have to listen or understand to what the politicians say. Much like the family dog, you just have to be convinced that the garbled babbling has a soothing, melodic tonal quality, which heralds that devastatingly effective Clinton sympathy playbook.

You see, we need that sympathy. Sympathy and victim status are the new cogs in the progressive engine of socialist democracy. We need our little Charlie Brown hands held and tugged along. We need our carefully measured spectrum of medication. We need our booze and bongs. We need someone to pick up our dirty clothes. We need someone to clean the unwashed dishes. We need someone to recharge our cell phone and pay the electric bill for our shallow hedonistic little universes. Just ask the main stream media. They are all too willing to handle those painful thoughts and decisions, and hand them over to the entitlement fairy. Just leave that liberal Democrat ballot under your pillow.

We also need to have those little childhood selfish and impatient gratifications sated quickly dammit, without any delay. There cannot be anything resembling an interruption of our civilian splendor. Why should we suffer even the slightest inconvenience, to support our troops or recognize that a war can be long and hard, as the President has warned so many times? Dammit, this is the new unified, moderated and homogenized America. We don't have the time or patience to wait for the next season of the religious barbaric reality show to set up the latest dramatic conflict.

9/11 is already on the shelf, collecting dust, sitting in the DVD boxed set, next to Farencrap 9/11 and the loose change conspiracy. It's just not fun anymore. The five disc tray is already occupied by the Dixie Cows movie and all things cool and subversive. Besides, 9/11 got bad reviews in Europe, where all the cool, smart people live, next to all kinds of cool historical stuff. Just grab a knapsack, a Eurail pass, and take your little ignorant skull full of overcooked Wheatena over to the 'home country' and get a nice liberal dose of European enlightenment. Then come back to America as a new John Forbes Kerry world citizen and crap all over the ignorant natives who haven't had Belgian honey squirted on their Wheatena.

You, yes, you too could be basking in the intellectual splendor of a crowd of people that saw fit to press the replay button, once again, on Ted Kennedy at a obese margin of 70% to 30%. Or how about Patches Kennedy in Rhode Island! Where else can a family of rich liberals kill and injure innocent citizens while intoxicated and then be re-installed like a rare but broken part to a Russian tank? Only the cult of victimhood can make this possible.

There is a spot of sunshine here. The Democrat party supposedly has some conservative voices now. We will see how genuine those voices are. So, as you experience the brisk cold of this new landscape, just remember, it's always full blown Russian winter somewhere in the northeast.


a4g said...

The saddest part is that our "civilian splendor" cannot even be interrupted by other people volunteering to do the dirty work we do not wish to do, and asking nothing from us other than to let them do what they must.

Even this is too much for the pampered American.

But there is other sunshine: my wife and I will bequeath five (at press time) new conservative voters to the Republic, who despise hand-outs and nanny-statism. And we are not alone.

FIAR said...

Are you saying your wife is giving birth to quintuplets?

Dr. Phat Tony said...

I wonder what is stopping the migration to more conservative areas of America. How long will the working have their money divided amongst the lazy and not care? Businesses have already started migrating towards tax friendly states; employees are soon to follow. I would prefer the conservative ones.

RT said...

Umm...I'm all for moving to a conservative state. Anyone want to go with me? What I wouldn't give to have a face-to-face conversation with someone like-minded, and to it, not get mocked for my views.

Insol...awesome! I feel your pain. (too Clinton?) The "kings" of New Jersey is the bane of my existence.

As someone who thinks for herself and asks questions, I cannot imagine people just blindly following the Democrats' bs. I don't even agree with everything Republicans say or do...I'm not a dimwit. The dimwits have a temporary victory, though.

Insolublog said...

I hope your five little ones represent a collective switch from the dumbing down of America to the smartening up of America, a4g.

Thanks for the track FIAR.

DPT – I was tempted to move north into NH, but the blue disease has spread to the entire northeast. I have to find someone to buy my house at inflated MA prices, at a time nobody wants to buy here. I have had it after forty years.

RT – If Mass. drives high tech out with blooming taxes, I may be forced to leave. Being in Jersey puts you in a similar boat.

RT said...

Wow...love my poor grammar skills tonight. Ugh. Sorry.

Yep...they are leaving NJ. In fact, lots of people are leaving NJ because they can't afford to live here.

I looked in Cheyenne, WY a few months back...hmmmm....good thing about teaching is that teachers are in demand in the rest of the country.

RT said...

Ok...I really should not type when I am sleepy.

"in" should be "into"