Saturday, December 02, 2006

Tough time Dealing with this Season

It is a depressing list.
  • My father just started kidney dialysis one week ago.
  • The layoffs at work have left a tempest of loose ends, which may never be tied up.
  • My best friend is melting down over his own horrendous year of family crisis management. I cannot do anything but offer my support.
  • We are about to be assaulted with the worst political situation this state has seen in years.
  • Terror and dhimmitude lurk around the corner.
  • My diabetes medication prevents me from having a drink to kill this stress. I have taken up the Saxophone, as a distraction, having never played an instrument before.
  • The neuropathy in my feet has been making a return performance. This makes me sleepless and more irritable.

I am finding it damn difficult to be optimistic.

I just lashed out at a clerk at Barnes and Noble today. I should not have.
Would you like to renew your frequent readers card, sir?

Absolutely not.


May I ask why, sir?


Because when I walk up to your register, I see you have a pyramid of offensive crap like this.. ( I hold up a box desk calendar, of 'Bushisms' ) on sale, for holiday shoppers. I am damn sick of it, lady. I am sick of this store. I only want this one book, since I do not wish to wait for the mail. And I never, ever, want to be associated with your frequent readers club, again.

Oooh, kay. I'm sorry you are upset sir. Thank you for shopping here, today.

I got half of the way home and I started to feel sick. I just slathered a considerable wad of my emotional balm on a person who did not deserve it. I do not like it when people do that to me. It is not her store. She may not approve of the way the items are stacked. I strongly felt like going back to apologize, but I did not take action to do it. This is one of those events that will be stuck in my regret cache for years to come.

Now I am here, laying it all on my readers. Sorry.

23 comments:

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Hope things go better for you, Insol.
Including your friend and father.

You have my best wishes and prayers, friend.
Maybe coming to Ohio and shooting guns would help. You are always welcome here. :)

RT said...

Stress will make your diabetes worse, but you know that, I'm sure. Perhaps all the extra stress you are carrying is causing your symptoms to worsen.

Feel free to put your angst on us...we care and we can pray for you. :)

I hope you and your loved ones will find brighter days soon.

I know it doesn't help that this world is such a mess...adds to everything, and I know it makes me want to melt into a blubbering mess at times when it is combined with personal stuff.

Take care of yourself. Coffee and dark chocolate, my friend...it is supposed to help.

I'll stop giving advice, now...

Wyatt Earp said...

HOLY CRAP, DUDE!!!

First of all, NEVER apologize for letting off steam. It's what blogs are for. As for your lousy set of circumstances, all I can say is that if you need someone to rant to, we are all here waiting to help however we can.

Otherwise, just sit back and enjoy the Pats crush their opponents this week.

Insolublog said...

CUG – Thanks jimmyb. If I ever make it over to Ohio, I will be sure to try my hand at a bit of controlled gun play. I would, of course, need to borrow from your arsenal ;)


RT – Coffee is one of the few indulgences I relish daily. My main worries are my Dad and my best friend, Ray. Although we knew the kidney thing was coming over the last six months, my father was not prepared for the lack of freedom. On the positive side, dialysis has advanced tremendously since his sister died of this genetic polycystic kidney ailment that plagues the family. They were still using old draconian equipment back then. Through the miracle of computers and biochemistry, things are much better now. At least he does not look grey anymore.

My friend Ray's situation makes my life look like a Rogers and Hammerstein production. Even then, his life is better than many of our wounded soldiers. They can tough it out with a smile. I should quit whining and get down to business.

As for the D.N., I give kudos to the inventor of Ibuprofen. For an off-the-shelf medication, I think this stuff is marvelously effective.

Wyatt – That game looked more like a comedy of turnovers, than a crushing defeat. For a while there the suspense was nail biting. This is why football blows away other sports for television appeal. I wish I had blown my steam off here, instead of at the book store. I am still seeing that deer in my headlights.

RT said...

You know, it might totally make that woman's day and ease your conscience if you go back and say you're sorry for what you did. I've been a cashier and I remember some of the diatribes sent my way. You might want to speak to the manager first so that she doesn't think you're walking up to harm her or anything. (Given the world we live in, it might be wise.)

fmragtops said...

Hey, Insol! I hate that you are feeling down. You are the one always telling us to be optimistic when we come here and whine about the political landscape, so don't feel bad for laying your negative feelings on us for a while.

I hope things start to look. Remember, we are all here, and behind you 100%.

PS: Yes, Ibuprofen is the greatest OTC medicine ever.

Insolublog said...

Actually, I went back this morning, RT. She was not there, today. I thought about trying to pass written sentiment through management. However, I do not know her name; then I thought about who was probably responsible for arranging the store in the fashion that triggered my anger. I still hate the store, and its political bent. Many people become weird around this time. I will probably be just one in a line of many unhappy people to cross her path, in this season or life in general.

Thanks, Fm. I will probably be blogging lighter than usual. Vive' Le Advil!

rachel said...

I hate trying to come up with the "right" thing to say. I really, really suck at it.

Can I just send you some good coffee? I'm way better at shopping than coming up with the right thing to say.

I'm thinking of you.

linda said...

Insol, sorry about your dad. I've been told that could be in my future as a diabetic. Really sticks this time of year especially with all the food, etc! I was taking Advil and was told not to take anything but tylenol b/c it raises your b/p and that goes along with diabetes. If you don't follow a diabetic diet, you might want to look into it. Royal pain, I know and I hate it, but a necessary evil! As for your feet, I was taking aspirin for the foot cramps I was having and ended up eith a ruptured blood vein inside my eye which I'm having to deal with now! Something that seems to help is exercise--try walking several times a week. Take care of yourself!

Insolublog said...

rachel – Aren't you sweet! Thank you. My Gevalia 'prescription' keeps me well stocked in coffee. I appreciate the offer though.

linda – I am sorry to read that you are a member of the club. I walk every day, weather willing. I have managed to almost eliminate the need for b/p medication. I only take a low dose aspirin for stroke insurance. I have had only the slightest hint of retinopathy, which usually clears by itself. I credit to keeping a fair vitamin C blood concentration. My doctor may not make any conclusions in that regard, but I think it helps.

I think the real issue with any metabolic imbalance, being maintained outside the body's natural automation, is that it cannot account for influential circumstances like stress. Management under stress becomes difficult to predict and treat, even if you can keep your normal maintenance schedule. Arrrrgh.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

I'm with Wyatt that blogs are for venting so have at it. I'm sorry for the personal issues, it sucks!! As for the political woes I'm right there with you. After the news about Bolton this morning I just had to write an anger post about how stupid all the swing voters were that voted Democrat!! Hang in there, my prayers are with you and I'm all for eating lots of chocolate ;-)!!

David Schraub said...

If it makes you feel better, you're a finalist for a Weblog Award (3501-5000). I know this because I'm also one of the finalists in the category, and I'm visiting all my fellow nominees to say hi.

So congratulations, and feel better!

Oh, and so far, I'm the only liberal. Odd. Oh well. Good luck!

Peakah said...

My best to you my man.

As for Barnes and Nobles stories, I hate the major 'box book' stores as you do and have routinely expressed my disgust of book arrangements to uncaring management.

As for your vent on the cashier, I fear I've been guilty of the same and have since vowed (since reading your experience) to be more measured in my responses- not to mention becoming more efficently targeted with such responses.

One experience I had once was when I was sitting in one of their couch sections with a book by Carlos Castaneda- An Indian fellow took notice of the book I was reading- "The Active Side of Infinity"

I felt the need to saturate the new-agey spiritual demand of my more curious side before I spent a week on Waikiki Beach.

He arose and approached me with a great smile on his face. He said nothing as he placed his hand on my shoulder whereupon I felt an amazing jolt of energy that gave me enough energy to not sleep the entire following night with no ill effects as I contemplated the probable non meaning of his gesture...

I need to read more HARD science...

If you've read Castaneda you'd probably better understand my dilemma. Omens are fascinating when noticed.

Uber said...

So sorry to hear that things are very difficult right now. I hope everything turns around real soon. *hugs*

Congrats on the nomination too, btw. The blog rocks. ;)

SK said...

I hope things turn around soon Insol! Even your venting is done with class ;-)

Ssssteve said...

Insol, I want to express my best wishes and prayers like the rest here. Trust me prayer changes things!! I've seen it happen! Now as for Peakah there, I think he was dipping into his daddy's sauce if you know what I mean! wink wink!! HA

Insolublog said...

Peakah – It looks like he was doing some shape shifting in his biography. My mother is into this new age stuff. I don't know if this world orgasm for peace has been tried yet, but I would be interested in seeing the total lack of corroborating data. I have a post coming up, with some good hard science.

Thanks Uber. Did you notice the Uber ad? I have to get into the template and add an Uber specific link.

SK, I appreciate the sentiment.

Ssssteve, as always your praise and prayers are welcome.

linda said...

Do you mind my asking what you consider a Vit C concentration?

Insolublog said...

linda – A minimum of 2G/day taken as crystals in water or juice.; usally more. It cannot be taken all at once, but over the course of the day, with meals etc.

Captain Den said...

Dude don't feel too bad about the clerk. She was asking for it. Seriously it's probably the best thing that ever happened to her. She probably went home, realized she hated being a clerk because of all the abuse she has to put up with and quit. That's why she wasn't there today. She probably decided to go back to Law School after all and finish her degree. Now don't you feel better?
Hang in there, Captainden

linda said...

I'm not familar with that! A powdered vit c? I was reading about diabetic kidneys trying to find a way to ward off trouble and now I'm really confused! I thought a high protein diet was good for the diabetes--well, it's not so good for the kidneys! And I was told to take Tylenol and it's also not good for the kidneys! I quit reading at that point!

All of my cousins on my mother's side have diabetes--but not the aunts and uncles! (Type 2) And there are some severe cases in some cousins on my daddy's side!

BTW, don't be tempted to have that drink! One of my cousins decided she was going to have some champagne for NY's and ended up in the hospital for a week! Life hust isn't fair for people with diabetes!

Insolublog said...

linda - GNC or Trader Joes. Ascorbic acid in pure crystal form. $10 for a full pound. My Polycystic kidney disease is not entirely coupled to diabetes, although it can be worsened by it.

I assume you have seen the latest breakthrough on diabetes in mice. A hopefull development!

Insolublog said...

BTW Captainden, Thanks for the observation. I hope she puts at least a portion of the blame where it really belongs.