I was evacuating some lawn furniture from the wilderness that is my yard. Suddenly, I was attacked by a suicide bomber. This angry violent insect could not be reasoned with. Needless, to say, it died in the name of its queen, but only after leaving a sting which I will not soon forget.
Shaken, but determined, I scouted the region. Ah, yes. There is the nest of the violent jihadis. They are out in the open now, fomenting unrest amongst their peers.
Night soon falls. My vast intelligence services inform me that all of the leaders are back in the hideout, preparing for the next day. They pray, Queen willing, the next day will bring another gloriously painful round of suicide attacks on yours truly.
Heeding the advice of my covert operatives in the field, I decide that now is the time to prepare a precision air strike. I select a weapon known for its effectiveness.
********* WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! ***************
Parents should be cautioned, that the following images are of a violent, graphic nature. Don't blame Insolublog, if your children don't get any sleep tonight.
Under the cover of darkness, a devastating stream of hell fire is visited upon the nest of terrorists.
The site of the strike is littered with the writhing bodies of dying terrorists. Many are still struggling out of the nest. I am also sorry to say there was some collateral damage. I saw some black sugar ants and maybe a grasshopper or two, who were caught in the strike.
War is hell. When you are dealing with mindless brutes, who submit to a single cause, sometimes you have no choice.
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14 comments:
HAHAHAHOW! I just hurt myself laughing at that. What are those terrorists? Waspmas, or Hornetzbollah. Maybe the dreaded Yellow Jackets For Allah Martyrs Brigade of Al Qaeda in Iraq Operating In Massachusetts?
What's important is they will each receive 72 unfertilized larvae in the afterlife.
Don't you know that there will be 100 more for every one you killed?
I still have plenty of 'justice' left in the can.
Heh! Nearly spilled coffee on the keyboard I was laughing so hard...
Show no mercy!
And I didn't need a single U.N. resolution!
But! But think of the good wasps, who would never be compelled to commit such cowardly acts!
Evil flourishes, when good wasps do nothing.
I don't usually find wasps funny, but that last sentence was a jewel! The buggers hurt, don't they?!
How dare you strike with unbalanced ferocity! They attacked you for the way you have been treating them for so long! Making them live on the bottom side of the chair like that, why that is where you put your backside all the time, Oohhhh the Humaniiiiityyyyy! You are a Insoluhitler!
I believe Ssssteve has a point. It's because of your imperialist capatilist ideas that these normally peaceful insects are forced to live in the underbelly of your chair. They're communist ways were working fine for them until you came along and forced them out of their home...or forced their home over a few feet.
linda - The sting was highly motivational.
Ssssteve - Actually I agree. My unbalanced response proved the maxim:
'Peace through superior firepower'
My lawn has been peaceful ever since.
DPT - Maybe I will get a call from Kofi Anon? I doubt it.
The wasps could not come up with a big enough petro dollar bribe, or an available adolescent prostitute; so no U.N. official will be interested in their plight.
I condemn these unprovoked attacks at the peaceful wasp population. Your 'total war' on the insects leaves us no choice but to call a fatwa on your leg. Bugallah willing, you will limp the rest of your life.
Can't they just go wage fatwa on John Kerry's face? Wasp venom might make a good substitute for botox. He also has a lot more pull, here in Mass.
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