Saturday, October 22, 2005

The Mighty Rove speaks (Well sort of)

Peakah said...

Just wondering if you're the grand Machiavellian master who is behind setting up the scenario to have Condoleeza Rice to run for president after her promotion to VP when Dick Cheney decides to step aside? If so, Kudos...


Yes. Rove speaks truly to me.
Dick Cheney is going to step aside?
Do you possess evil knowledge unknown to Me?
I want a personal audience with you. If you are unable to meet with me, please send me an RSVP e-mail to rove@whitehouse.gov.


If you accept put, "I accept evil job #g46h793" in the subject line. Wait for further instructions.


If you are unable to make it, put "Disintegration job #g46h793". Include a google map hyperlink or your current GPS coordinates in the mail. I, the great and powerful Rove will reply in person. Make sure you wear a red shirt.

Thank you for your courage and diligence.


Dr. Phat Tony said...


OH I'm thinking of a good one. You just wait...



I am immortal and Rove's patience is infinite. Just don't step in front of any plants or step on any rocks while you compose your question.





Tyler D. said...

Uber and Kate did the question thingy too.


Yes. Rove speaks truly to me.

Does this mean Tyler D. does not do the question thingy?





GunnNutt said...

Oh Isolukuta, give me guidance! What is the real reason Rove made W. nominate Miers?

Yes. Rove speaks truly to me.

Harriet Miers is like a nun. She has demonstrated that she has no extensive written opinion. She is much like Insolukuta here. If she is confirmed, I have a special set of neck antennae just for her, so she may receive my personal instructions.

And when will DPT look at my blogger profile and realize I'm not a guy?

Damn. This third person crap makes me feel like Bob Dole!

GunnNutt, your love of large caliber weapons, big loyal dogs and beating up hippies means that even without testicles, you have a bigger set of testicles than most guys in our sensitive metrosexual culture.



Dr. Phat Tony said...

Was I a pawn in some conspiracy to make the world think that Gunnnut was a man? Is it strange now that I think the advice I gave her "next time you see a man...hit him and take his girlfriend." not only appropriate but a little sexy too?



Yes. Rove speaks truly to me.


GunnNutt merely didn't see the logic.



GunnNutt said:
"When will men stop believing crap that women are attracted to sensitive, metrosexual males?"

DPT said:
"This one is easy, next time you see a man about to go all soft and sensitive, or buy socks to match his man bag, hit him and take his girlfriend."
As GunnNutt indicated, a good conservative woman would quickly lose her attraction to this budding metro flower. DPT's solution could go either way. If it's another guy stealing his girlfriend, it is good old healthy sexual conquest, as nature intended. If it's another woman, stealing his girlfriend, it's a rescue operation, intended to save valuable genetic material. After all, women do have a biological clock, with cycles that should not be wasted.

Fitch said...

Weren't you supposed to tell us about the downloads? Something about waiting for the "gong" and constructing a receiver using "roof flashing and Diet Mountain Dew can aerials." I need to know, oh great Isolukuta.


Ah memories. That was a whole week ago. This period is easily a product lifetime in our wonderful high speed, high tech capitalist world of planned obsolescence. It's all about antennae now. You should sign up for the Roverizon 'Secure Bliss' plan. It includes a daily basic brain agitation and spin dry, followed by an NRO wax and Limbuff.
As for the gong, Rove rings it every time he hungers, and the feeders respond. I feel him calling me now...

Yes. Rove speaks truly to me.
You obviously realize the superior nature of our technology versus the liberals. They have been relying on the street protest technique of heavy narcotics and large flash cards for decades. They may have to wait a whole day for their programming to be delivered and processed by drunken sleep hypnopaedia through the Clinton News Network, the All Bill Clinton network, the More Stupid News about Bill Clinton network, the Clinton Butt Snorkeling network and Numbing Progressive Radio.
Evil Conservatives are self-programmed, receiving thousands of news tidbits and subliminal instructions directly and electronically. The DNC is like a big mainframe with millions of dumb terminals. The RNC is like millions of powerful computers squabbling over the internet, with frequent OS upgrades. You have intrigued me Fitch. I may yet have Insolukuta dig up that old hat schematic.

Wasn't Clinton the 42nd President?


Ah yes. the dim time again. The Clinton Presidency means nothing to me. 41 + nothing + 1 = 42 This is a mistake I often make. The correction, as you can see, has been made.




Uber said...

Insolukuty, oh evil and sapient one. ;) What is the best maniacal advice in reinvigorating the VRWC machine and what lefty fears shall we next exploit in combating "the beast" in 08 should "it" indeed decide to run?

Yes. Rove speaks truly to me.
This is a tough one. As angry as the conservative base is, it must stay unified. Keep convincing each other that the long term goal is to defeat the beast by staying together. Listen to the downloads. Plugging up the borders now will guarantee reinvigoration. I try to convince the President, but his brother and Texas business associates override me every time. There is plenty of candy in the Halloween bag. Permanent tax cuts, Capture of Osama dead or alive, public beheading of Saddam, half the UN doing the perp. walk, all of the ACLU doing the perp. walk, former minions of the beast doing the perp. walk and those nice rice crispy chocolate things that coat the inside of your mouth while you break them up with your tongue.

The biggest lefty fear is that Hillary really is turning conservative and not just faking it. This requires a counter-intuitive push. Put faces like Cindy Sheehan out there every chance you get. Have her bitch moan and cry about what a war hawk Hillary is. Have people like her whittle away the granola and Birkenstock base and scare away the moderates. Make them all believe she is betraying them. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I will have Insolukuta send her a special fruit basket.

What? The hell you will.

We will take this internal discussion off-line! Ahem. All our evil conservative friends know she is a fake. Hillary knows she is a fake. She also knows we are winning the war in Iraq and the MSM credibility war.

Also, I'm wondering what type of lotion, if any, you use in the evil hand rubbing needs dept. Oh, and do you put a little honey in your tea before or after bwahahahahahaing?


Not being a metrosexual, I prefer the Lava pump. There's nothing like a handful of abrasive pumice for real exfoliation. You can tell by the redness of my flesh, that it's a great body lotion too.

Tea? As you know, evil conservatives only drink the hot blood of disenfranchised Palm county voters. In this case, a little honey after bwahahahahahaing, to soothe the throat.


Difster said...

May you live forever Isolukuta!



If I ever sign up for this again, don't count on it.




I beesech you answer one question. What body will next be possesed of the evil incarnate required to be the Overlord of the Federal Reserve?

Yes. Rove speaks truly to me.
A delicate question for sure. Overlord Greenspan has done a good bang up job. If my evil plan were designed to just piss off the left, I would might choose the venerable economist Thomas Sowell. Of course my usual dark Rovian plans involve some sort of mysterious former/current Democrat stealth candidate, so I can maximize evil. First I piss off the liberals by just being me. Second, I piss off the conservative base by choosing say, former Clinton treasury secretary Robert Rubin. Meanwhile, I will prepare for that special surgical antennae installation, with a really good signal booster.

12 comments:

Fitch said...

Can I buy the antennae online? Is the procedure covered by my medical insurance, or do I have to pay out of pocket expenses? If it is covered, does it reqire a preauthorization? Is Dr. Phat Tony certified to perform the procedure, or is a real Dr. required? I'm still lost without access to the downloads. The answers have left me with more questions than before.

Also, I understand your error in tabulating "Bush 42." It's a very logical error.

Uber said...

Marvelous enlightenment to be remembered throughout the ages. Dude, I am taking notes. No worries, invisible ink. *g*

Fitch, perhaps it would be better to first make practice of that knowledge which we've received before asking more? haha

Peakah said...

Email to: rove@whitehouse.gov
From: Peakah
Subject: I accept evil job #g46h793

I accept all orders given from the great and knowledgable Icculus... err I mean Insolkuta!

My life is soon to be completely given to the advancement of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. I just gotta change a poopy diaper first... brb...

Can I get a ride in one of them silent black helicopters someday?

Insolublog said...

fitch - I would suggest e-bay but I can't imagine anyone wanting to give their's up (unless they have upgraded) I'm sure Dr. Phat Tony would perform any surgery, just for phun, as long as you signed a waiver. Patience fitch, you will be assimilated.

uber - Wise words from an operative savvy enough to reveal the contents of the beast's closet.

peakah - Don't throw away the diaper. We will make a homeland security flyover of Chuck Schumer's swimming pool, in the black helicopter. If we have time, we'll pick up fitch for his 'operation'.

GunnNutt said...

I.wish.for.antennae.implants...
hypnotized.by.reading.Insolukata/Rove.
responses.
Please.pick.me.up.along.with.Fitch...
Will.be.on.roof.waiting...

Insolublog said...

GunnNutt -

All.you.need.to.do.is.keep.sticking.
I.heart.Gitmo.labels.on.the.back.of.
moonbat.tour.buses.over.at.
walter.reed.hospital.

Uber said...

Sorry.ya'll.No.need.to.stop.by.
my.house.I.have.some.very.
important.business.to. attend.that.day.And.laundry.
And.uh.other.stuff.to.catch.up.on.
Maybe.next.time.

fitch- Can I have your CDs? ;)

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Well done!
Dang, I just wish I could have got my question in!

Next time!!!

kateykakes said...

"Well done!
Dang, I just wish I could have got my question in!"

Me too, Jimmy, but I got skeered looking at that pic of ummm...the creature!

Insolublog said...

Worry not jimmyb. My next post is for you.

As always Kate. It's a pleasure. I'll try not to post ugly photos next time.

Wyatt Earp said...

Dude, that picture is scarier than the Burger King "King"

Sorry I missed out on the Q&A!

Insolublog said...

Don't worry Wyatt. Next time. I know your sgt. put you on the wagon. You were quite distracted.