Wednesday, May 03, 2006

The Verdict is In

So, Moussaoui got life in prison. This actually lines up the very first step in my 9 point terrorist justice plan.

Unfortunately, they decided to leave out the rest of my recommendations:

  1. Put Moussaoui in prison for the "rest of his life".
  2. Hang him in his cell by thumbscrews or fishhooks through his finger nails, with his feet dangling through custom holes, cut through the top of a pet carrier full of hungry rats. (Thanks FIAR).
  3. Keep him alive by feeding him salty boiling Maypo pork chop puree (Thanks Wyatt) through a pastry bag cone plunged into the lesser of his two eye sockets. He will need the other one for step 9.
  4. Take him on a glorious penthouse ride to the top of a brand new tower in New York, on the anniversary of September 11.
  5. Cordon off an appropriate street.
  6. Smash a Champagne bottle, filled with the finest jet fuel money can buy, over our hero's diseased coconut.
  7. Ignite him with a road flare, using his puny manhood as a fuse.
  8. Push him over the balcony. Let the ensuing flames convince him to jump over the balcony.
  9. Film his plummet to the ground, on pay-per-view. Donations go to the victims of the 911 disaster.
Oh well. I guess I will have to settle for one out of nine. A4g has a good insoluble comparison over at P5.



FIAR said...

Those are all great ideas, but I still feel like something even more inhumane would be in order. Throw a hungry rat into a chainmail bag, and tie it tight around his head. Eventually the rat will get out. That sort of thing.

Dr. Phat Tony said...

Considered a carreer in the justice department?

Ssssteve said...

Awesome Insol!! I would pay mightly to see that!!!

Wyatt Earp said...

Three words: Pork Chop Dinners!

Insolublog said...

FIAR - I tried to work it in, but I was worried the rat might get burned, or poisoned by eating the slimy bastard.

DPT - Yes, but I am concerned that there would be too much temptation to bring government bureaucrats to justice, with so many nearby.

ssssteve - Maybe we can work in a frequent viewer patriot discount plan.

Wyatt - Suggestion noted and logged.

fmragtops said...

Don't forget, we all have to yell something like Jesus kicked Muhammed's @$$ or beat him with a cross, or somethingto poke fun at them saying Alahu Akhbar or whatever it is they say when they do their barbaric killings in the name of their *spit* religion *spit*.