Friday, May 26, 2006

The Washington Double Cheeseburger

Hunting Donkeys and RINOs can make you hungry. When you are out on Safari, with your Teddy Roosevelt inspired blunderbuss, marching about in your old faithful boots, nothing satisfies that brutal protein craving, like a delicious Washington Double Cheeseburger, from the link loving kitchen of Insolublog.

Now, I must admit I do not possess the gourmet flair of MensaB. If I were a flaming metro-sexual like Howard Dean, I might try to embellish my food presentation skills. Alas, in red state America, men are men, women are women, and men and women celebrate their differences, instead of blurring the border between genders and nations.

The greatest core ingredient, of the Washington D.C., is a full pound of fresh ground RINO. Finding a local butcher, with a fresh supply of the addled perissodactyl, can be difficult. In that case, just substitute with fresh ground Jill or sirloin beef. Make sure you trust the butcher, or witness it prepared on site; otherwise, you might get a Mexican national, folding in his body parts, excretions or a generous supply of E-coli, into the grind. Now you wouldn't want that, even though it's a job most Americans refuse to do.

Place the fresh patties on a hot grill plate. Now this grill must be hot. It must be so hot, that if it were to be inserted beneath the posterior of an INS bureaucrat, they would move faster than Ted Kennedy toward an open bar.

Now what do you do with two aromatic, sizzling, fat glistening slabs, sitting on a hot grate? Why, you cover them with more aromatic glistening fat, in the form of generous chunks of razor sharp Cheddar, delicately exhumed from Tupperware. As they approach that medium rare state of a conservative judicial nominee, at the end of Senate confirmation hearings, take it out of the propane committee, and put in on a fresh bulky from the bakery.

Be generous with crisp garden tomatoes and onions, hopefully picked by a citizen neighbor, from a nearby garden. John Kerry hates tomato products of all kinds, except the kind that feeds his wife's trust fund. Ok, ok. He still hates that tomato product, but he likes the money.

The roll should be a delectably simple, freshly baked product, with a chewy outer crust. This crust should be as immune to the assault of hot juices, streaming from the patties, as a patriotic radio show host or conservative blogger is immune to red herring criticism. Crumbly Air-puffed America rolls, or half baked National Public Rolls are unacceptable. The one chosen here, has yummy onion bits, sprinkled on top.

If you are so inclined, wash the DC burger down with an ice cold brew, or a creamy root beer. Enjoy!



fmragtops said...

Okay, I'm hungry now. What a great way to present the linky love. Thanks. That rocked.

SeanS said...

You can barbeque for me anytime, Insol!

Ssssteve said...

That looks great! I second sean! even if I wasn't in the linky love! Ha!!

you gotta write something worth linking to first.. right:)

Insolublog said...

I'm glad everyone enjoyed it. I hope you all had a nice holiday weekend.

linda said...

I forget where, but somewhere in America they're making hamburgers with Krispy Kreme doughnuts! They cut the pastry in half, fry the meat, add cheese and bacon and put it in the doughnut! The people who were trying it said it was great! I never would've thought of using a KK doughnut!