Liberal Lament for the Bush Oil policy

How I lament the 'Bush' economy. Since my Woodward inspired conspiracy prediction that Bush would call his 'oil buddies' to lower prices just before the election was pure landfill, I'll flip the prediction 180 degrees. Bush called his 'oil buddies' to raise prices before the election to boost the profits for the buddy coalition. Wait a minute, that doesn't make sense. Never mind. Ok, ok, go with it anyway.

China artificially pegs the yuan against the dollar and pilfers intellectual property, carrying us along in their runaway economy. China, India and Russia run up world oil consumption to record levels. China exceeds Japan as the second biggest consumer in the world, and will probably exceed the US in the near future. By the way, they don't have to worry about those pesky environmental laws either. They have the worst of communism AND capitalism. Consumption in the marvelously diverse and peaceful Europe, if you ignore the burning anti-Semitism everywhere, is also up. So, oil prices largely surge on record consumption. Nope. I'm going to put my dark sunglasses on and blame Bush.

Now we add a loss of production in our Gulf due to four hurricanes, which we know God sent our way since he's pissed off at Bush. Normally mentioning God would be against my left wing agenda, but when it's against Bush, I'll use any club that comes within arms reach. Add onto this the political turmoil in Venezuela. Add onto this the fact we have not built a refinery in the US for over twenty years, bottlenecking gasoline production specifically. So, oil prices largely surge on short supply. Nope. I'm putting my fingers in my ears and saying La-La-La-La real loud.

Hmm.. Supply and Demand. I remember somebody mentioning something about that in Berkeley, between bong hits. Oh well, those were the days. Now we have a perfect storm for the sixty dollar a barrel oil prices, and the inflation we see today. Add onto this the first attack on American soil since Pearl Harbor. Follow this by threats from the same terrorists to disrupt the world energy economy; That is, when they find some free time in between fabricating IEDs and masturbating in the blood of innocent people, while chanting to their God. This party really makes the oil futures speculators happy. High oil prices means inflation and a weak dollar.

Look at all this time we have wasted, not looking for alternative fuels, like mixing alcohol with granola and Birkenstocks. Everybody knows that the big oil companies have hushed up all of those brilliant energy physicists who have discovered cars that run on the oil from adolescent skin breakouts and get a bazillion gazillion miles per gallon. We should all be using electric cars, since electricity is practically free. Just put large coils of enameled wire next to the red carpet at the Grammy Awards and wait for the flux of all those magnetic Hollywood personalities to walk by.

But seriously, I know Bush is to blame. Just like I know it was the Sun's fault that I stubbed my toe this morning. Funny, the Sun rose in the sky right about the time my toe hit the leg on that coffee table, so you do the math. Life is so easy on the left. It's too bad we didn't elect Kerry. He had a plan. We still don't know what it was. He hasn't shared it with us, you know, for the good of the country.