Monday, July 25, 2005

Would you like to supersize that?

I'm so glad the AP has so much time on its hands. They were able to
pen this wonder in Indiana entitled "Woman convicted because of pet pigs' odor".

Debra Fields kept two 300-pound hogs -- Bacon and Molly -- as family pets.
Pets? I know whole families described thus.
The two pigs, according to evidence submitted during the trial, could generate as much as 35 pounds of solid waste and several gallons of liquid waste every day. Fields testified there is no odor because she did not smell it, and that the odor detected by a Hobart code enforcement officer was attributable to swine flatulence.
I wonder just how much swine flatulence it takes to eject 35 pounds of solid waste and several gallons of urine. Looks like an engineering problem Claudius of Rome would envy.
In his ruling, the judge said that testimony was "not credible."
I find that shocking.
He ordered Fields to pay a fine of $250 plus court courts for violating the nuisance ordinance. Longer suspended $200 of the fine on the condition that no other violations occur through the end of the year. Fields, who could have been fined up to $2,500, declined comment after the Thursday ruling.
I guess it's best to keep your mouth shut when all you get is a fifty dollar ticket for immersing your neighbors in the olfactory Nirvahna that is Bacon and Molly.

But here's the best part. The automatic Google advertising block.

Yes. That's a law firm comfortably tucked between detox and feminine hygene spray, as an epilogue to a story about intolerable pig odor.

There is a God.


Dr. Phat Tony said...

Google in its self is hillarious. I find it slightly hard to beleive that two pigs can't produce an odor beyond their flatulents. What are they union pigs.

Damian G. said...

No WAY...

So Michael Moore's landlord is in trouble with the law.

Thanks for the linkage.

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Likewise, thanks!

SweetSpot Labs?

Is that for real?

Or is it Labes?

Insolublog said...

Dr. - Isn't that redundant?

Damian - So is Moore's girlfriend must be 'Molly'.

CUG - I swear you can't make this $%@0t up.

mensaB said...

Between a patch and a spray, They'll either fix your drug-deal or you'll come out smelling like a rose.
Thanks for sharing the Molly Moore story.
(b.t.w; We linked in sync)