Friday, July 22, 2005

Magnetic Personality

I have reached the blog threshold on this new consumer gripe. I am talking about those little white security strips that resonate your guilt between two magnetic figure eight coils at the Home Cheapo.

Yes those are the gates of St. Gabriel. Well. This modern wonder is now being combined with two other phenomena. The Self checkout and the untrained, guest worker. I wince every time I walk through this thing, with the firm knowledge that there is now a high probability that the electronic equivalent of Nathaniel Hawthorne will leap out and brand me with a scarlet letter.

Luckily, tonight I was wearing the Power Line T-shirt I got for my birthday. Unluckily, I didn't have a camera. I stop, glance back in the store. All the customers are glaring at me. None of the staff seem the least bit interested. That's it. They can’t be bothered to deactivate the tags. They can’t be bothered to tell self-checkout customers they have merchandise of this ilk. Maybe they are too overworked, so the Home Cheapo can use one person to field the merchandise of six automated kiosks. Sorry, but that's not my problem.
So, I casually back up into the field. The thing starts to wail continuously. One of girls waves her hand at me to usher me along. The alarm continues. She doesn't even raise her eyes to inspect the situation. I stand firm.
You’re Ok. Just go ahead.

Are you sure?

Yes. Go on!

I'm not certain. This machine seems firmly convinced that I am about to deprive this establishment of these illuminating pearls of the orient. (Chinese recessed lighting)
A gentleman buying conduit and adhesive laughs and walks past me. I continue to rant over the alarm.
How do you know that guy didn't just abscond with some precious wire nuts or something? After all, I have a moratorium on this alarm system.

The girl, flushed red, collects my bag from my hand and ushers it over the moby magnet on the counter, permanently de-clawing my source of amusement.
Sorry sir, but we are very busy here.

I know you are, but why annoy people with security that is not secure?

Do you want to speak with the manager?
No. I'm just going to blog it instead. She glared blankly.

Have a nice day.

4 comments:

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Bwhahahaha!
Way to go!
I hate those things.
I'm to the point now where I just keep walking, sort of daring them to stop me.

The never do.

Thanks for commenting on my site by the way.

mensaB said...

I hear ya. Everyone's on auto-pilot, except the machines! (*...*)
But basically, “All you have to do is NOT want something, and it's all over you, like a magnet.”

Dr. Phat Tony said...

I worked retail when I was young(er), those little tags can be so much fun. I got to where I could through them at people and get them to stick to there shirt.

Dr. Phat Tony said...

what the... I meant throw not through. Comments need grammar check ang-it!